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TRANSFORMED NOT CONFORMED

It might seem to many of us that modesty is a thing of the past. I know before I became a Christian I didn't have the slightest idea of what it meant to dress properly. Looking back, it's hard to believe I even left the house in some of the things I used to wear (and not wear!), let alone that I wore them without even a blush!(Jer. 6:15) 

The Bible in very clear terms tells us not to be conformed to the world, but instead, to be transformed.(Rom. 12:2) Webster's Dictionary tells us that to be transformed means a change of outward appearance or inner nature. I guess that's why it amazes me to see young Christian girls (and even more mature women) in church or at outdoor gatherings, hands uplifted in praise to God, while dressed in clothes that definitely do not give Him the glory. 

In the summertime especially, we have our biggest opportunity to test our consecration to Jesus. Sheer blouses, halter-tops, "short" shorts, and skimpy bathing-suits are the norm for many careless Christian women. They use the rationalization that "it's hot" or "I'm swimming" to excuse their lack of modesty. Clothes that fit too tightly, tops that are cut too low, and skirts that are cut too short are not only a distraction to those around us-but the wearers show an unloving lack of concern for their responsibility as a representative of Jesus. 

Unfortunately, it seems that many Christians are lost in their own selfish little world-either oblivious or uncaring about the affect they have on others. They may even appear to have a real excitement and love for the Lord-however, their body is sending out a totally different message. I know, because as I said before, I have done it-partly in ignorance, but mostly in rebellion. I can remember thinking, "Well, it's not my fault if they can't keep their eyes off of me and on the Lord. They just aren't spiritual enough. Why should I have to change just because they are weak?" 

But the Lord showed me that it was my fault. I was responsible for causing my brother to stumble and it had to change. Once I really saw the damage my selfishness was doing to others and to the Lord, I was really ashamed of myself and embarrassed that I had been representing Jesus in such an unbecoming way. "It is inevitable that stumbling blocks should come, but woe to him through whom they come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should cause one of these little ones to stumble." (Luke 17:1-2) 

The Fashion Queen

Worldly dress is quite revealing. First and foremost it reveals a worldly heart It also reveals wrong priorities and areas that are not yielded to God. Being dressed in a worldly manner does not always mean that you are dressed immodestly. It may simply mean that your style is flashy or overdone-generally speaking, just "too much. " If your perfume arrives at church five minutes before you do, who are you trying to kid? Did you put it on for Jesus? If you are drawing attention to yourself, then you are drawing attention away from God and stealing His glory. 

Here are some simple questions. Are you considered a trendsetter-usually the first to buy the latest style? Do you spend a lot of time and money shopping for new clothes? Are you always thinking about what you're going to wear? Do heads turn to see your newest outfit-and do you enjoy turning heads? If you can answer yes to even one of those questions, it's quite possible that you are seeking man's attention instead of God's. As a famous evangelist once said, "Be honest about it, would you take all this pain about your looks if every person were blind?" 

Pretty...Not Painted

I believe that too many Christian women overdo it when it comes to putting on their make-up. They arrive to fellowship with the world's "come and get me" look painted on their face. They look like showgirls on their way to a nightclub, instead of someone coming in meekness and humility to meet their Lord. Their faces are prepared, but their hearts aren't! And if the Lord should really move in the meeting so as to bring some to tears of joy or repentance, they would have to fight back the tears for fear they would "ruin their face." How can you be open to a touch from God when you're so concerned about your outward appearance? It's very simple . . . you can't be! 

"Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but the woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised." (Proverbs 31:30) 

Sheep In Wolves Clothing

I would also like to include a brief word to the fellows in this article, for you are not always exempt from the sin of vanity and the desire to be noticed. Sadly enough, I have seen many of my Christian brothers drawing attention to themselves by wearing immodestly tight clothing and looking "just like the world." Many thoughtless Christian men unbutton their shirts halfway down their chest, surround themselves in a potent cloud of after shave-and don't really care that they may be causing others to take their eyes off of Jesus. You too must be sensitive to others and give the Holy Spirit control of your life. You are responsible to surrender this whole area to Jesus and make sure that you are not causing those around you to stumble and fall. 

Acting the Harlot?

God does not think beauty is evil-how could He, He invented it in the first place! But beauty corrupted becomes harlotry. In Ezekiel 16:14-15, God says, "Then your fame went forth among the nations on account of your beauty, for it was perfect because of My splendor which I bestowed on you. But you trusted in your beauty and played the harlot because of your fame, and you poured out your harlotries on every passerby who might be willing." Here God is speaking to Jerusalem about her abominations. He compares her to a harlot to make His point, since everyone is familiar with how a harlot acts. How many of you are acting like harlots-parading yourselves, seducing with your eyes and trusting in your looks to bring you love and acceptance instead of trusting in God and putting your confidence in Him? You have heard it said that "beauty is only skin deep"-and it's true. But God can see through to the inside, and the things that are beautiful to Him are not always apparent to the common eye. 

Perfume, Powder, And Prayer (A Challenge)

The world teaches us that in order to be loved we must be beautiful, sensual, and alluring. We are assaulted daily by billboards, books, television programs, movies, and magazines that teach us "a different gospel." Sure, everyone wants to be loved . . . but why and by whom? All that is supposed to change when we meet Jesus. 

I think we will all agree that God is most concerned with the Inner man . . . the heart. But I don't think we can say, "Well, I may look worldly, but Jesus knows that in my heart I'm not." It is true that Jesus knows our heart, but I believe in most instances our outward appearance reflects our inward condition.Remember, He called the Pharisees "white-washed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead mens bones and all uncleanness." (Matt. 23:27) 

God tells us to redeem the time because the days are evil (Eph. 5:16), but many will spend more time in the morning preparing their "outward selves" than they do preparing themselves inwardly for the warfare of the day by seeking God in prayer and His Word. Sometimes we can spend so much time fixing up the outer man that the Spirit inside shrivels up and dies. 

I want to present my brothers and sisters in the Lord with a challenge. Measure the time you spend "fixing yourself up" on a daily basis. Then give at least equal time to God in prayer and Bible reading every day. We all know He deserves so much more, but if you just start there, you can let it grow as you do. 

The Other Extreme

I think it is important to make it clear that I don't think pretty clothes or a little bit of make-up is wrong. In fact, I don't necessarily think that the most godly way to dress is in a bland and unattractive manner. To be quite honest with you, I have seen many people go to the other extreme and try to draw attention to themselves by being untidy, unclean, and uncaring about themselves. They try to prove to others that they are spiritual because of their lack of concern about the way that they look This too can be another form of pride and self-righteousness-and I believe it is all equally grievous to the Lord. He wants us to find a balance and seek to glorify Him in everything we do. Humility and moderation are principles that the Bible clearly teaches. 

Marriage Is No Excuse!

There are many husbands and wives who encourage (and sometimes even demand) their mates to "look sexy." They feel that since they're already married, it won't really hurt to "turn each other on" in the way that they look and dress. I don't think there is anything wrong with dressing to please your husband or wife, in fact I think it's important that you do, but not at the expense of others. We must stay within the boundaries of the Holy Spirit, putting Jesus and His pleasure first in all we do. 

One newlywed in our ministry held up a bare little summer dress to her husband, and shaking her head said, "This has got to go." He said, "But . . that's one of my favorite dresses!" She said, "Yes, but why do you like it so much?" He slowly smiled and agreed-and out it went! 

Closet Cleaning

Many of you may really feel convicted to change and wonder what you should do now, so I would like to give you a few words of simple advice before I close. First of all, go through your closets and drawers and pull out all of the clothing that obviously has to go-and get rid of it! Next, get in front of a full-length mirror, and try on the things that are questionable. Look at yourself from all angles using a hand-held mirror. Look at yourself close up and from far away and see what you "really look like" in the clothes you have been wearing. View yourself objectively, as if you were looking at someone else-and note what your first impressions are of "this person." Check for fit and transparency and get rid of anything that doesn't pass the test-this is no time to be sentimental! Finally, each day before you leave the house, do the "mirror check" on anything that hasn't previously been checked or if you have gained weight since last taking a look. You will be surprised to find that some of the things you were sure about won't pass the test. This will help you weed out your wardrobe as you go. Some of you may be afraid that if you do this, you'll end up with nothing left to wear! But just remember that the most important thing is to be obedient to God, even if it means having a very limited wardrobe. Besides, when you are all done with this project, you will become a much more careful shopper and end up being a better steward over God's money than you ever were before! 

True Beauty

True beauty is Jesus and Him alone. Letting that love flow through us to others is the beauty that is pleasing to God. Paul says we are to adorn ourselves with good works. . . as servants of the Lord, vessels through which others can feel His touch on their lives. Why would we want to substitute the world's counterfeit for the real thing? 

True beauty radiates from the face of a godly man or woman. You won't notice much what they really look like because you are too busy noticing Jesus in them. Shouldn't that be our goal? Let's allow Jesus to so fully indwell us that we would never do or say anything that would bring shame to His name . . . yielding our whole lives to Him and serving Him in the inner courts of His holiness. Let's not forget that we are His Bride-and so dress accordingly as we fully divorce ourselves from the world and clothe ourselves with the righteousness of God! (Isaiah 61:10) 

May God bless you as you seek Him about what all this might mean to you personally. Please take the whole matter to heart (and prayer) and then be obedient to change the things in your life that you find are displeasing to God. 

"Give unto the Lord the glory due His name; bring an offering, and come before Him; worship the Lord in thebeauty of holiness." (I Chron. 16:29) 

Michael James Stone

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Childhood Days and Dreams

At Grade 2, I already knew what I wanted. I wanted to be in media and to graduate from UP Diliman. A few months after college, I found out that 98.7 DZFE-The Master’s Touch was recruiting new announcers. Since I already was an avid listener, I rushed into this opportunity and thankful that I got accepted. It was one of the best moments in my life!

During my stay at the University of the Philippines, my professors brought out the extrovert – some say, the “kikay” in me. I knew then that I would soon be working with media people I only admired from a distance.

While I was working in the media, I was chosen as the only media practitioner sent as an official Philippine delegate of the 1999 RP-Japan Friendship Programme for the 21st Century formerly known as the Youth Invitation Program sponsored by the Japan Information Cooperation Agency held in Tokyo, Osaka, Kyoto, Kanagawa-ken, Matsuyama-shi, Ehime Prefecture and Hiroshima, Japan from January 13 to February 9, 1999.

It happened more than a decade ago but I can still feel the clay in my hands while twirling the machine needed for making tobeyaki pottery.

From hosting award-winning radio programs to the overseas seminars in Japan where I learned about Japanese broadcasting and tobeyaki pottery, I felt then that I was molding the very clay of my media career in my hands.


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Career Opportunities

My 15-year media profession included television news-casting, TV news reporting, magazine writing, voice acting in TV and radio commercials and radio announcing.

One of my most cherished awards was my back to back win in the 1997 and 1998 KBP Golden Dove Awards as the writer and radio host of Concert Hall aired on 98.7 DZFE, The Master's Touch.

On TV, my feature stories have been aired on Studio 23’s News Central. I also enjoyed being a co-anchor of the early morning newscast Balita Alas Singko ng Umaga on ABS-CBN Channel 2.



Something Was Missing

Despite the achievements, I felt that something was amiss.

Life is a great teacher. Just when you think you know it all and have it all, something comes along and changes everything. A lot of people make the faux pas of being overconfident or thinking they are too intelligent or too successful to be lacking.

I was a wife, a caring partner and a close friend to my husband. But the woman in me was craving to cherish someone borne out of our love – our union as husband and wife. Someone whom we could show our unconditional love and be loved in the most unique way.

Somehow, I wasn’t ready to become a mom. I had several emotional baggages to deal with first.

Kaye Langit - Luistro: My Journey Into The New Me from jonnie_anzures on Vimeo.

Guilt and Emotional Trauma

But conceiving a child was not the problem.

The main concern in my spirit was my guilt and the emotional trauma I experienced at the height of my media career.

In 1995, my mom went into surgery to remove a suspicious tumor from her right armpit. Later, the doctor confirmed a horrible truth. My mom had non- Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, cancer of the lymph nodes, and one of the most aggressive forms of cancer. Proof was that a mere three years later, that spiteful tumor has metastasized into my mom’s spine, stomach, uterus, and intestines.

The next five years became a vicious body-draining and spirit-sucking road to our own Calvary. A barrage of life-changing medical interventions left the family grasping for air on a moment-to moment basis.

My mom underwent an avalanche of laboratory tests including the dreadful bone marrow aspiration, where a gargantuan needle was stuck right through the spine to draw blood, eliciting heart-wrenching cries from her.

Since my father died when I was still very young, I had to be strong on the outside because I was her sole companion through the whole ordeal. But deep inside, the incredulous fear left me shaking and trembling like a rag doll.

My mom’s sun finally set in 2001.

Losing someone you love is never easy. It took me a long time to really recover. Not only from the pain, but more from the guilt of not having the chance to exhaust other possible means to save my mom. I wanted to give more of myself to my mom as her only daughter – her only child.

For the next several months, my husband would see me all curled up, crying on my mom’s bed, where she died. Without judgment, he just allowed me to cry in his arms until I’d fall asleep in exhaustion.

My mental anguish was so strong I literally felt my mind would have just snapped anytime. Daily talks with my husband, prayers and meditations on the Book of Psalms healed me bit by bit. I finally broke free from the reins of depression, a year and a half later.


Overcoming Fears

Looking back, I realized that it was the pain from losing someone I dearly loved that stopped me from pursuing motherhood. I didn’t want to go through with something as painful like that again. But of course, that’s only wishful thinking. Another thing that really scared me was the pain associated with childbirth, not to mention the hormonal changes when you’re expecting. I literally didn’t want to lose control over my own body!

I was really thankful that Randy never asked for a child in all our thirteen years of marriage. Other husbands might not have been that patient. I wanted to thank him so I asked the Lord for a son. Two months before my 35th birthday, I started praying very seriously about this. Every day, I woke up at dawn to pray. I opened my prayer time by singing the worship song “The Power of Your Love,” not in English but in Spanish. I felt that the Spanish version brought out the inner urgency in me.

First, it was just about having a baby. After all, being childless for thirteen years is already considered infertility. But days passed, and something really incredible happened. My prayer time took a different turn. I was no longer praying for a son. I found myself just singing and singing the song in Spanish in tears and with great reverence. Every lyric spoke to my heart and mind as if Spanish is my native tongue.

I also can’t stop William Carey’s quote off my mind either: “Expect great things from God; attempt great things for God; for we serve a great God.” I did just that. I simply believed. Without any work-up nor any medical intervention of any kind, sometime in December 2008, I discovered that I was already 7 to 8 weeks pregnant.

It was a moment that not only changed my body. It forever transformed the way I saw myself and the world.






Redemption

When Lance Paul came into our lives, he changed us forever.

I've never realized that having a baby would make me feel more fulfilled than having all my accomplishments combined. All the perks associated with my television stint were now inconsequential, compared to holding your baby, cuddling him and seeing him laugh and smile.
Something in me finally made sense. Having Lance Paul in my life completes me not just as a woman but as a person. I feel that I have the strength to raise myself to the standards of being an honorable human being because of him.

Loving my child has finally brought me an opportunity to erase the guilt I felt when my mother died. I can now give myself away to love my child in the same way my mother offered her life for me when I was born into this world. Being a mother has brought me redemption.

My transformation to a career woman and working wife into a mother has dramatically changed my life. I guess I've become more selfless in a way. All those sleep and food deprived days made me feel that I was no longer living for myself, but for another person. Although he takes up most of my time, I would not want it any other way.

Right now, my baby has become the most important part of my life. I have given up my dreams for radio and television and have opted to work home-based.

I am now a freelance media specialist, dividing my day between writing magazine articles, doing voice-over work for TV/radio commercials, corporate AVPs, and being a voice talent for Back to the Bible - Philippines.

Thanks to the loving support of my husband, I've started as an international voiceover artist, operating from a home digital studio in Quezon City. This way, I will still have the chance to see my son grow up to be the person God envisioned him to be. There's really nothing wrong with other moms pursuing their careers. I just feel that this is the right path for me to take. I've decided to follow this conviction and now, I'm reaping the fruits of my labor, one day at a time.

I am now a mother like I always wanted to be. I could die tomorrow and feel completely fulfilled as a woman and as a human being.



The Joy of Transformation

I was watching Oprah one night and she was giving tribute to moms all over the world. One mother said that once you become a mother, you can never go back to your previous life of just focusing on yourself.

I guess she's right.

One time, I was in the mall. My husband and baby were not with me. Instead of feeling free and ecstatic since I can go anywhere without carrying a 30 pound baby and an extremely huge and heavy bag filled with my baby's diapers, bottles and what have you, I felt sad! I wished that they were with me, especially my baby, who smiles whenever he sees lights, babies, and food from just about anywhere.

I can truly say that the life I have now, although extremely difficult, has produced some of my most treasured memories!

So, what makes me a fulfilled woman?

I think Sushmita Sen, Miss Universe 1994, said it best – “Being a woman is a gift of God which we all must appreciate. The origin of a child is a mother, and is a woman. A woman is one who shares love and who shares and shows a man what love, caring and sharing is all about.”

That, for me, is the essence of being a woman.

Everyone in this world wants a long life. But I want a happy life.

My child has transformed me from being a wife and a woman, into a mother – a giver of life. I can never go back to my previous life. And I will never, ever want to. For my baby has made me the happiest person in the world.








My name is Kaye Langit – Luistro, and this has been my journey into the new me.